Control?

Sandra Felton is the founder of Messies Annonymous.  While visiting the library with my three girls in 1991, I found her books Messie No More and the Messies Manual. When I got into my car I shoved the books she authored under the seat of the car.  I didn't want anyone to see.  The reading of these books was an epiphanic experience.  In one of her books, Sandra identified some typical human experiences that cause us to have a disordered ethos.  I knew I needed to have mine transformed.  Alcoholism and Codependent personality's were major factors. One didn't need to be an alcoholic, but if the Messie had lived with one in their lifetime, chances were that the wounds were keeping them from order.  The codependent issue can be mixed with alcoholism, or stand alone. 

In 1991-94 I worked on a recovery plan with the help of Alano. (I don't even know what that stands for, I just know that their was alcoholism in my family of origin).  I also bought all Sandra's books and worked out most of her program. I sought out a counselor and began scrap booking with Creative Memories.  I became a consultant, gave workshops on both Recovery and scrap booking.  That didn't last long.  But in that time learned a lot about myself and recovered a somewhat orderly brain.

The reason I bring her up today is that I had given her books to my parish library.  A few weeks ago, I found them there.  No one had touched them, though they had sat on the shelf for at least 3 years.  Since I recognized I have some lingering issues of procrastination, I snatched them off the shelves.  I wanted to revisit my helper Sandra Felton. 

The first thing I did was take her assessment on my housekeeping skills.  I rated a 6.  I think I would be ok with being a 7.  Which translates, being able to have company 2 or 3 times in one week with little effort.  I can do that, kind of. 

I have so many "Paper Dragons".  Just entering my library is an instant overload.  I have tried so many methods of organizing, that I had duplicates of many subjects all over the room.   The counters need to be clear, I want them to be clear, they are NEVER clear for long.

This is a record of last years attempt to kill one Paper Dragon, his name was "Sentiment" I actually did make some progress. The green box this was all in is not nearly so stuffed!

I kept reading.  I found her Flipper system and took mine off the shelf.  It needed revising.  I did rejoice that I knew where it was and that it was not a Mess.  I didn't even have to dig it out of a pile. Gazing at the "Flipper", reminded me how life was before I created my own.  The transformation that took place within my heart and even the formative influence it had on my children.  I have three adult children and a teenager.  They are NOT Messies. The two youngest are better at organizing and taking care of things than the first batch was at their age.  I digress.

I made a commitment that moment to follow the rest of Sandra's system in the way I had not the first time.  It consists of: The Flipper; a flip style photo album with daily chores and menus on one half, inspiration on the other. An index card file for contact info; A-Z, the months of the year; with the chores that need to be done in in that season or month.  I filed away pre-printed address labels in this box, and shopping contacts, meat market, Kung Fu lessons, theaters, etc.  The portable notebook: my dear Aunt Perky gave me this one for Christmas, next year I hope to print out pages from my iCalender and basically put one together from scratch.  We shall see.  And at max, a two drawer file cabinet.  For most Messy house wives, that is too much.  I committed myself to one drawer of Files in a desk drawer in the library.

An index file, a notebook for carrying, the Flipper and the 4th element..

 the file system  is (in the drawer of a desk).

As I revised my "Flipper" to a smaller size, I could see that mixing up the "system" was a problem.  Messies need to keep things simple.  I had Sandra's idea with the "Slob Sisters" preprinted cards in my system.  The "Slob Sisters" were a comical team of organizers.  The problem is, they used an index file system that was two complicated for the Messy.  I also had tried to use a Rolodex card system they suggested for my address book.  That is gone now, and so are two address books. 

I like the way the index card file is reflected on the counter.

Putting together the structure for this system has taken me three weeks. 



The file system was not so much as labeling files as it was getting rid of things I am attached to.  An exercise in DETACHMENT.  A virtue crucial to souls such as mine. If you look at my Facebook, it reflects my need to collect information.  It doesn't make my house messy, but it does waste  time. If that news was coming in the form of paper, it would be in my file.   It used to be and that is what I had to clean out, NEVER again. Now I have to remember this little saying. "Rhonda, you do not need to...See everything, Have everything, or KNOW Everything.  GOD has that covered and that is the ONLY thing YOU NEED to know."

On that mantra, you would think I could stop typing.  But NO... this is about procrastinating.  There are so many things that distract us Messies, we MUST find the tools to keep us on track.  But it is not just the tools.  It is God I need.  Some of my files have been bothering me for years, so much that I would rather stuff new paper in new file cabinets rather than make room for anything.  It is just too hard to face. My self published Catholic Home Education newsletter, of three years, was a painful memory.  I wanted to keep them, "they were pretty, had pictures of old friends and good articles".  But 95% of the people in those newsletters are not in my life anymore, I had typos and complaints that every time I look at them I feel it, and only one family said they enjoyed one newsletter.  When I unearth my old stack of the JMJ News for Catholic Home Educators, I have to face my motivation.  Approval. I want to believe that I loved publishing and acknowledging the efforts of others, but the pain from not being appreciated is so great that I can't let go of the mess of drafts and originals.  When I look at them, I still think they are pretty, but only on the surface. Our Advisor and his wife gave us some GREAT articles, so the content  was lovely.  My memories of events reported is not lovely. AND THAT IS JUST A SAMPLE OF the effects of MY PAPER DRAGON on my soul!  DEAR JESUS, SAVE ME!  I need to know that God is in control, and He wills me to ORDER and PEACE,  His love for me is greater than my own. He desires to be with me in all things, I just have to invite Him and "remain connected to the Vine" infusing me with the grace necessary for the difficult tasks.  A rather random thought but it fits, Fr. Jo's comment in Sunday's homily...Perfection in Christ, MERCY.  Mercy with self and others.