The Internal Nag, and Inviting the External Reminder!

This morning the every day chores are evident.  I have two kids with colds, one of which would like to go to her first Kung Fu private lesson.  There are 3 loads of laundry,  putting away recently canned tomato sauce with its equipment.  Deciding what to have for dinner; my daily procrastination. And the every day of caring for a house while we live in it.  What is the old project I haven't gotten to.  Where is the Internal Nag bothering me to get something done?  I don't hear her, nor do I see the object that would provoke the nag.  I need an External Reminder.

Tomorrow I celebrate my 26th wedding anniversary.  Dana, Dave and I were just talking about compatibility in marriage and how we think we know what we are looking for in a life partner.  So mysterious is that other soul, we practically can not leave it to our own perception, but must follow God's direction when choosing a spouse.  The memory of being faced with that decision came up this morning.  It wasn't done without fear and trepidation.  I recalled to Dana how my mother liked to remind me that Dave had no time for me.  He worked many hours and then took long bike rides to shake off the worker in him.  I was not the center of his universe.  That did not look very good to my mother.  I on the other hand wanted The Holy Trinity to be the Center of my spouses Universe.  What is the "compatibility" factor? Dana doesn't think we look so compatible on the outside.

Reflecting on the dynamics of married life primed me to consider him as my External Reminder.  Dave has his list of things he would like to do, and those things that he knows are my expertise.  I can trust Dave's perception some of the time; like when I can't see the thing in front of my face. And other times, I am his eyes.  Today, it occurred to me that I could make a regular practice of asking for his eyes, that he become my External Reminder, rather than wait till things were bothering him enough to bring it up himself.  I really appreciate people who regularly do this for me.  Yet I wonder if both my perception and humility might not grow together if I seek out the neglected areas of my "formation field" and, when I can't see, to ask for help.  I know my marriage would surely benefit from this exercise.  Sometimes I think the External Reminder will remind us unknowingly of other things that are on the priority. In other words, reminding me of the laundry, may mean I have to do some shopping first; out of laundry detergent. So I may not always do what is on the top of Dave's list, BUT I may get to the root of the procrastination.

Today the invitation was answered!  Dave reminded me that I have objects that I need to "Craiglist".  Never mind how long many of the items have been under the computer desks, or in the closet.  I am going to do that today, after I figure out what to have for dinner.

Now for a formal list of External Reminders:
Dave
My children
Elizabeth
Liz
Marilee
My Dad
Neighbors 

Shrinking Skirts and Sweaters, Courage Man

Last summer, I washed several things by hand.  I was trying to avoid the drycleanning bill.  All was well.  I put two skirts I was convinced I could iron the shrinkage out of, in a bag.  One was mine, the other Dana's.  The material was "viscose", (rayon), the skirts shrunk, and now the linings were hanging far below the hem.  No one is going to want to wear them now, and I feel sick every time I look at them. They sat in that bag....I moved them into my new closet, out to site, out of mind.  My new closet saw a lot of changes and then I moved into the room that my closet was in..... The bag with the shrunken skirts continued to call attention to itself.  When I reached for the swim bag early in the year for Cecilia's Life Guard course, there it was.  Then again when we went to the beach.  I had to move the bag when I moved into the room. I wanted to take care of it, so I put it somewhere I would see it every day, on my dresser.  I saw it every day and wondered when I would have the courage to throw it in the GoodWill bag.

This fall I went through the LARGER designated Dry Cleaning bag.  Dana needed some fall clothes.  After deciding we didn't need many of the items, I took what was left of the bag to Clark's Cleaners.  The half off coupon reduced the bill to $50.00.  That bag had been patiently waiting to be cleaned for 2 years.  I began to feel guilty about the clothes I had the courage to wash, but not to press out.  So the two skirts came out of the bag and were put on the counter in our computer room.  This summer I moved my sewing and ironing supply's from under the basement stairs, to the computer room.  The skirts had been on the counter for 6 weeks and today was the day.   After deliberating the Good Will as a way out, I ironed them. AND THEY ARE BACK TO SIZE!   I think I may give them away now.  Or maybe I will where mine once more.